This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.
Question
I hate school so much, today (edit) on my maths test, and tomorrow is the exam, which I will fail. My teacher encourages me to seek extra help, but whenever I pursue it, it doesn’t work. Whenever I get frustrated I cry, although I don’t cry often. Normally my throat just feels welled up and I struggle to talk. I don’t understand science at all either. The only subject I really like is drawing, and that’s only every 2nd day, and it’s going to end soon. My friend that I spend most of my time with is rude, which I explained already in one of my messages, anyways. I can’t do online schooling, although my step siblings do; I’d just feel even duller if I did and spend even more time in my room. School stresses me out a lot obviously. I can never pay attention anyways, no matter how much I consent rate on the words that are being spoken or the letters I’m reading; it feels like it all goes to waste in the end because I can’t concentrate on any of it. I don’t like being at home either, i spend most of my time in my room, and when I come out my life is based on a religion i hate. I’m not allowed to go out because of it. I can’t leave this religion for another 5 years; then when I leave I’ll be kicked out of my house and shunned by my family. I don’t want that. But I can’t wait 5 years for school to be over and to leave. It doesn’t help that my step mom treats my like I’m invisable, I can’t have a regular conversation with my dad; he’s either complaining about his wife, treating me like a therapist, or giving me some crappy lecture on my ‘bad association’ or some sort of form of basically calling me a failure. I can’t do it anymore. I’m not happy at all.
Answer
It’s nice to hear from you 🙂 How was the exam today? It sounds like you’re going through a lot at the moment. You talked about feeling stressed out about school and you also mentioned some of the issues you’re having at home. You said you spend a lot of time in your room. That makes a lot of sense to me 🙂 It seems like your room is a great place of peace for you. It’s good to have a quiet place to retreat to, especially after a rough day! It sounds like you’re very unhappy with where you currently live. From your post I got the impression that you live with your dad and stepmom for the majority of the time. Is that right? I’m wondering…How often do you get to see your biological mom? And how are things between you and her? What do you think can be done to change your current living situation? It sounds like you want to have a better relationship with your dad. That’s good 🙂 What needs to change to make that happen for you? You said your dad talks to you about his problems often…I’m thinking that if he’s willing to talk about his problems to you than maybe he’d be willing to listen to you talk to him about your problems? What do you think? You mentioned religion and wanting to quit it in 5 years, once you can move out. That’s a long time. What is it about the religion that you don’t like? I’m guessing you’re choosing to wait the 5 years because by then you’d be more independent and won’t really have to worry about how your family would view your decision? In the mean time, what helps you to cope with this issue? You’re invited to call us at 1800-668-6868, anytime, to speak with a counsellor, if you want 🙂 You might find it helpful. Wishing you all the best! Bye for now
